Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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