If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
