i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
