he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
