pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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