Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
