ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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