i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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