Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
