who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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