you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
