to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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