laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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