Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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