there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
