spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
