love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
