He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
