is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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