i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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