Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
