I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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