I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Every concussion has its silver lining
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
