i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
