I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize