so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
