OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
