her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
