Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
