dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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