Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
