We're like a lot better than the average bears
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
