Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just high enough for therapy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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