Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
