She's JV to your varsity
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
