so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
