On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
