How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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