all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
