i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
