I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
