this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
