For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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