If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
