OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
