I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
