Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
