Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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