Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
