The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
