508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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