Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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