just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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