I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
