Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
