I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
