Can i not drive my cunt home
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize