how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
