Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
