Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
