and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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