well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
