): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
