He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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