You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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