So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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