dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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